just watched requiem for a dream

fuck.

i like don't know what to do with myself right now.

fuck yeahh

last night i was a mess and andrew called me and told me to come outside cause he had a surprise for me.

my first surprise was that he bought me a roll from whole foods, that i couldn't eat.

it was cute though, he keeps forgetting i can't have gluten.

then he took me for a ride in the bike cart from tj's.

it's totally a seat thing for little kids but it was rad.

we went around the fens.

it was cool going backwards down the streets and seeing everything rush past me.

then we came back and stayed up until like 4 am.

i finished writing my paper this morning at like 9.

then woke andrew up and made him apple cinnamon naan....because yet again i somehow made naan instead of pancakes.

i'm such a failure.

deanna's coming over to take a shower.

apparently she has no hot water : (

i haven't seen her in awhile so it'll be nice to take a break from homework and see her for a few minutes.

this was class today...

actually doing homework

i'm finally writing my poetry analysis that was due a month and a half ago.

luckily my teacher likes me and told me just to do it and get it to her whenever.

i think she feels bad for me cause i broke down in front of her one day.

my mom drove back to boston tonight to drop off my books for that class because i left them at home and would be fucked without them.

so i made her dinner.

and then she helped me outline my paper.

it was weird because my mom never helped me with my homework in highschool.

but it was nice to have the help.

kristine, rachel and i went to victoria's secret and bought underwear today.

it was justified because we had $10 off coupons and they were giving away a free pair of underwear with any pink purchase....6 pairs of undies for $15 rules.

andrew's coming over tonight.

we're making apple cinnamon pancakes in the morning.

i haven't seen him since last tuesday morning.

this summer

i'd really like to move away.

just for the summer.

maybe not even the whole summer, maybe just 2 months.

temporarily transfer to another hot topic so i have a job.

take andrew with me.

and just try and find home.

cause i can't find it, and i think that's why i'm so depressed all the time.

i feel like i have no real home.

nothing feels comfortable and settled.

if i really dig chicago when i go to visit i might see if andrew wants to run away there for the summer.

there's hot topics in chicago, so i'd be set.