i feel like a zombie.

no matter how much sleep i get or coffee i drink i'm always tired.

i could barely function at work today i was so tired.

it's 8:15 and i'm honestly ready to go to bed.

mind you, i woke up at noon.

i should probably see a doctor.

maybe i should make an appointment for that physical i should've had 3 months ago.

or appointments with the other 3 doctors i need to see this summer.

huge crush

i have such a monster crush on matt & kim.

they're adorable and write the cutest music ever.

and look! they play with guns!

i have $7.88 to my name

i more or less am a failure at life right now.

i better get my last check from massart tomorow.

or the next day.

sometimes i feel more at home on the commuter rail than i do at 600 Rear Huntington Ave or 401 Coronation Drive.

whenever i'm on the commuter rail i just feel okay.

comfortable, relaxed.

lately i really feel at home anywhere that isn't what i should consider my home.

just anywhere other than where i live.

i really wish i was in chicago.

textsfromlastnight.com: "(847): i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago"

went to somerville last night.

it was nice to get to just hang out in bed, watch tv and cuddle with my boy.

we got blue shirt for lunch today.

my stomach was so happy.

lovelovelove

dear brian fallon, love me please

going to somerville for the night tomorrow.
it'll be so nice to be out of franklin for the night, even though it's supposed to be cold and rainy all day wednesday and thursday.

i need to not eat ever again.

i'm getting fat again.

this does not make me happy.

i think i just need to eat less, drink more coffee and have more sex.

or i could always exercise.....but that sucks.

i wish i was in somerville tonight.

kat and jr had a cookout, which would've been really fun.

but i had kait's grad party.

at least i got to see kait and molly.

july 31

cage is playing at harper's ferry.

i need to go.

who's coming with me!?

dayum baby!

since when is milo ventimiglia an allston hipster?

this man has gotten wayyy more attractive since gilmore girls ended.

i feel really unsettled and on edge.

angie's coming over this afternoon to bake with me.

it'll be good to see her.

she's one of the few people i can be totally honest with and i know is always there when i need her.

going to stoneham for the carrier/bonus army/maintain show tonight.

hopefully it'll be good.

hopefully there will be people there.

today was not a good day

i should've gotten anxiety meds when carol wanted to put me on them.

i'm not doing okay.

i don't know how long i can keep up this front.

star trek ruled

and chris pine is amazing.

he makes a great captain kirk.

plus he was in smokin' aces.

what an amazing human being.

moving out, moving on

peace out 210A.

i cannot believe how much shit i have accumulated over the school year.

i'm really hoping all my crap and my bike somehow manage to fit into the van.

i'm sure it will, but it's going to take some creative packing.

i hate moving in/moving out.

i also hate the fact that i don't get to see kristine and justin every day.

at least i'm moving back in with kristine next year.

and justin will be up the street, but it won't be the same.

however, i'm glad that our bathroom/ shower next year is handicap accessible so it is absolutely gigantic in comparison to our current bathroom.

i can finally have sex in my shower.

there must be a god.

if there is, i'm definitely going to hell.

i love cage

good afternoon

 best shirt ever.

i think i'm going to cut all my hair off again.

i got hit on a lot more when i had short hair, so i take it i was more attractive when i was practically bald.

anyone else think it's a good idea?

i'm feeling so hollow.

i want to go home.

the past few days have been pretty good.
wednesday i finished classes and spent the night with molly.
we hung out in the dot for a little while with chris and sam.
got pantry pizza wraps which were delicious as always.
then we dumpstered tons of pizza in harvard square.
afterwards i went home and baked cookies until 3:30 because i'm crazy.

yesterday i woke up super early and baked cupcakes.
chocolate with oreo frosting and strawberry chocolate chip with chocolate frosting [om nom nom]
then tony, jordan, andrew, ryan, justin and i headed up to james' house in the giant red van after driving around somerville for much too long due to bad directions.
we spent the afternoon at james' and then went to anchors up.
the show was really fun and it was good to see the boys before they run off for the summer.
then bill drove justin and i back home and ended up staying over.

it's so nice to wake up to him.

for some reason on days when i feel lonely

all i want is to go back to this.

my nail polish is chipping

i wish manicures would last forever.

i go home for the summer next week.

i want to be at home really badly, but at the same time i really don't want to leave boston.

i'm just afraid to be home again.

i know after a week of being home i'll want to leave.

i want to be back in chicago.

i want cheese fries from veggie bite.

i just want to be in an unfamiliar place and not be scared.

i move home next week

things i want/need to do this summer:

1. buy more jeans

2. take in my denim jacket that's been sitting in my closet for years

3. learn to do something new

4. hang out with jason and alexander as much as possible

5. convince my parents to buy a puppy

6. open a savings account and get a credit card

7. save money for plane tickets so i can run away

8. donate or alter old clothes so they'll get some use

9. go to the beach as much as possible

10. join the gym again

11. be social 

thanks daddy

friends fest part 2

yesterday was a good day.
i had class until 1.
made oatmeal chocolates chip cookies and cookies n creme and chocolate strawberry cupcakes.
packed them all up and bill and i went to anchors up.
got to hang out with deanna who i haven't seen in weeks.
met rory's girlfriend who was super nice.
talks about electrocution with JR and kev.
finally met james from battle who is one of bill's best friends.
got invited to kat and jr's wedding, which is going to be super rad.

good bands.
good friends.
lots of smiles.

today will consist of leaving work early because "i have too much work to do", getting my nails done with molly and hang outs in dorchester.

waking up next to you

is really nice, despite the fact that we have to wake up so early.

it's comforting to not wake up alone.

i have so much stuff to do this week and i feel like i don't have enough time to do it in.

1.  get my portfolio pieces almost completed by monday.

2. write about 8 papers for marxist because i didn't do any work this semester.

3. bang out a paper on anthony and cleopatra for tomorrow, which i haven't read.

4. bake a ton of noms for the show tomorrow night.

5. get my mom a gift for mother's day.

6. finish my gender roles site for new media by tuesday

no matter how many times i watch this

i still think it's amazing

gossip girl <33333

ouch

my body hurts so bad.

especially my knees.

i think my right one is swollen.

damn you 4 hours of physical activity.

so good, but so bad the next morning.