it was one of those ones that feels so incredibly real that i thought i was actually feeling the spiders crawling on my arms.
i woke up sweating, panicky and breathing really heavy.
i've been awake since 10 and haven't left my bed yet except to go to the bathroom and to get my computer off my desk.
i have no motivation to do anything except lie here and listen to american nightmare.
i called my mom to see if she and my dad want to come into the city and get dinner tonight.
she didn't pick up.
andrew called me from portland last night.
i was a jerk to him on the phone because all i wanted to do was sit in my bed and eat oatmeal and watch the holiday on tv.
he texted me a couple times last night and i just didn't answer.
everytime i talk to andrew it just makes me want to hang out with bill...which then generally puts me in a bad mood because i'm not.
i'm such a jerk to people when i'm depressed.
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