i haven't felt genuinely happy like that in a long time.
and then andrew and i decided to pretend nothing had changed between us and spent the whole night and all of today acting like we used to.
it felt comfortable and good.
but it's sad to know it probably wont be like that when he gets back.
i don't know how to feel.
but for now i'll sit here making christmas cookies i can't eat in my new effort long sleeve tony gave me for free and listen to the free cds kat gave me of gavin portland and fighting shit [both of which rule] and fake a smile.
but it's only half fake because the xmas trees finally up.
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